


At last!

by chaoticdean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 5 Times, 5+1 Things, Airports, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Best Friends, Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Dean Winchester Needs Castiel, Dean Winchester Needs to Use Actual Words, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, TheirLoveWasReal, no beta we die like sam with his wig on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:08:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29474496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaoticdean/pseuds/chaoticdean
Summary: orFive times Dean kept his mouth shut, and one time he didn’t.#TheirLoveWasReal fanwork challenge, day 2: Liminal Space.Titled after "At Last!" by Etta James
Relationships: Castiel (Supernatural)/Others (mentionned), Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 25
Kudos: 273
Collections: Their Love Was Real: a Destiel & Saileen Fanworks Challenge





	At last!

**Author's Note:**

> This is your friendly reminder that this work is unbeta'd, and that English isn't my mother-tongue. Be kind :)

* * *

**1.**

It’s no secret that Dean hates flying. The mere thought of having to spend a single minute trapped in a metal box flying miles away from the ground might be enough to send him through a giant panic attack. But Dean is starting to hate airports now, too. He hates how crowded they are, how noisy and loud it gets, how the coffee they serve here always tastes like ashes in his mouth. 

Or maybe all of this really has to do with the fact that every single time he has to go to the airport, it means losing Cas for a long period of time. Well, Cas would argue that being away from Kansas for 3 months isn’t _that_ long, but of course that’s probably because Cas isn’t hopelessly in love with his best friend.

Yeah, so maybe hating everything about airports isn’t _exactly_ about the airport itself, but Dean isn’t about to admit to that any more than he is ready to admit that his feelings for Cas are slightly stronger than the friendship they’ve been cultivating for more than two solid decades.

Whatever. Airports still suck. Coffee still tastes like shit. And Dean’s heart still sinks inside his chest as they reach security.

For what it’s worth, he really tries to put on his best face as Cas turns to look at him, a smile on his face. Of course Cas is happy to go, home is in London for him now, not in hot, suffocating Kansas. No matter how much Dean wants him to be here.

“Alright, we made it in time for once. You won’t have to rush through security this time,” Dean says, trying to put on his teasing voice. 

But judging by the look on Castiel’s face, he’s failing miserably. The other man doesn’t comment on it though. Instead, he sighs and wraps Dean into a tight hug. 

“Okay, buddy,” Dean laughs against him, burrowing closer into the warmth of his neck, nosing at his cheek.

“I’m going to miss you,” Cas says, his voice small, muffled by the fabric of Dean’s jacket.

“I’m going to miss you too, Cas,” Dean whispers back into his ear, inhaling the scent of him for a second before he’s gone.

He doesn’t say _‘Please stay, I’m not myself when you’re not around’_. He doesn’t say _‘I don’t want you to go because it feels like my heart leaves with you.’_ He doesn’t say _‘I’ve been in love with you since basically forever and letting you go thousands of miles away keeps ripping me apart’_.

What good would it make? Castiel’s place is in London, with his friends and his love for academics. Not with a drop-out mechanic with a high-school diploma and less than 10 bucks to his name.

“Promise you’ll call when you land?” Dean asks instead as Cas steps back, his hands slipping over Dean’s waist before they’re off, leaving a trail of fire.

Cas smiles. “Of course. And we’re still on for our weekly Sunday calls, right?”

Dean nods. “Yeah, wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Okay.”

There’s a smile on his best friend’s face but for the first time since they’ve been doing this airport dance (so two full years and counting), there’s something different in the way the color of Cas’ eyes shine. He looks like he’s about to say something for half a second, and then his face shifts and here is Castiel Novak, Dean’s best friend. The love of Dean’s life, going back to King’s College to study Comparative Literature, like the nerd he’s always been. 

“Have a safe flight.”

_I love you. Be safe. Come back to me._

Cas nods, his hand slightly squeezing Dean’s arm before he lets go and turns around to go through security.

It takes Dean 5 more minutes to move after Castiel has turned into a blurry point in the distance. He crosses the airport the other way, back to his car, his heart in his throat.

**2.**

Christmas is just a few days away when Dean parks the car in the airport’s parking lot before he strides through the arrivals hall to wait for Cas. It’s been a little bit more than 3 months since their goodbyes, and Dean’s heart remains in his throat all that time. 

There’s something about this time of year that makes the wait at the airport slightly more bearable. Maybe it’s the hazelnut-flavored coffee, or the Christmas lights and decorations that have been set up through the entire terminal. 

Or maybe this time Dean’s heart is doing flips because he’s finally gathered up enough to tell Cas how he feels, and maybe even to kiss him.

It’s all he’s been thinking about for the past three months. Through every phone call, every text, every FaceTime session, every social media interaction. He _needs_ to tell him before he ends up getting crazy over this.

When Cas finally appears on the escalator coming down from baggage claims, Dean can’t help the smile that rises straight from his heart and up on his lips.

The other man is wearing a pair of dark jeans paired with a midnight blue buttoned-up shirt and a denim jacket that Dean has never seen on him, and he looks…

Yeah, he looks beautiful. Dean's heart misses a beat at the sight, and misses another when Cas finally spots him in the crowd of other people waiting and smiles widely at him.

“Dean!” 

Dean starts moving forward through the crowd until Cas almost crashes into his arms, and suddenly it feels like all his broken pieces fit back together again.

“Hey buddy,” Dean chuckles as Cas hugs him, the mess of his hair tickling against Dean’s throat before he moves away. “How was the flight?”

“Long. Boring. I managed to get my 4 hours though,” Cas says as they start crossing through the hall.

His hair is sticking six ways to Sunday, he has bags underneath his beautiful baby blues, and all that echoes in Dean’s mind is _‘kiss him, kiss him, kiss him’_.

“Nice jacket by the way. Did you start hanging out with punks in London or what?” Dean teases, running his hand over the arm of the denim jacket Cas is wearing. “Looks like something I could wear.”

“Yeah, huh,” Cas starts almost sheepishly. “It’s my boyfriend’s, actually.”

Dean's heart sinks again. He quickly finds his composure back, force of habits.

“Boyfriend?” he asks, trying his best to sound more interested than heartbroken. “You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend.”

Cas smiles. “Yeah, we met in class. He’s, huh,” he scratches his neck as they finally pass the exit door and starts walking toward the parking lot. “He’s in the grade above mine. His name is Arthur.”

Dean chuckles, keeps the conversation going lightly until they reach the Impala. When he sinks into the driver seat, heart lying at his feet, he feels like the world stopped turning for a while.

_His name is Arthur and now you’re too late._

**3.**

This is _not_ how Dean expected the ride back to the airport with his best friend in the passenger seat to go before he left for 3 more months, but here they are. 

“Listen, I don’t think it’s _that_ big of a deal if I don’t come back for Spring break, Dean!” Cas says, visibly annoyed, twisting the hem of his stupid denim jacket between his fingers. “Why do you even care, it’s not like I’m your only friend.”

_I care because nothing feels right when you’re not there. I don’t feel like myself._

“It’s not even about that, Cas! You’ve waited until your last hour here to spring that on me, and now you’re acting like I don’t have a right to be pissed off about my best friend ditching me to go meet his fiancé’s parents!”

_Fuck him. Fuck him. Fuck him._

“Arthur is _not_ my fiancé,” Cas protests, looking stubbornly through the window. 

“Well you sure fucking act like it,” Dean groans, glaring at the road.

“You’re behaving like an asshole.”

“Oh I’M the asshole here?! I’m sorry for being hurt that you’re tossing me to the side! I spent the whole month with you, I planned everything so that we could spend more time together, I took some leave from work to be with you, and now you’re telling me you’re not going to be back until summer? You couldn’t have told me _before_?”

Cas sighs, gaze still fixed on the outside.

“I didn’t want to break the mood. We were having a good time, I didn’t want you to be sad. Or pissed at me.”

The sad look on his face does nothing to calm Dean’s anger. If anything, it sparks it even more.

“Yeah well good fucking job at that, buddy.”

“What do you want me to do?! It’s not like I’m dating _you_!” Cas snarls back, venom in his voice.

And yeah, of course. He has a point. But nothing can describe the pain that hits Dean right in the middle of the chest at hearing this. Cas is right. As much as he’d like being the one who gets to wake up next to Cas every morning, he isn’t. And as much as it’s killing me, it’s not like he has a real right to be pissed off about Cas staying behind to spend more time with his boyfriend. No matter how much it hurts.

He shakes his head, scoffs, tries to regain his composure — and fail, absolutely miserably. 

“Right. Yeah, you’re right. Of course,” he says flatly. 

“Dean —,” Cas starts, as if realizing that maybe he _did_ say something wrong.

“No, no. You’re right. I’m sorry,” Dean says as he enters the airport’s parking lot and goes to the drop-off area. “I guess I’m just going to miss you a lot, that’s all. Here,” he adds as he parks in one of the drop-off spots.

Cas looks at him like he’s seeing a ghost. 

“You’re not coming?” he asks, almost in disbelief.

“We’re late, I don’t want you to miss your flight,” Dean says, avoiding his gaze, looking at the Departure screen that he can see from where they’re parked. “Come on, bud.”

“But —,” Cas tries to protest before Dean cuts him off.

“I’ll see you this summer.”

“Dean —,” Cas says, and his voice is almost quivering, to the point where Dean starts to feel his resolve crumble.

“Come on Cas, you’re going to miss your flight if you don’t go _now_.”

“I don’t want us to part angry.”

_I don’t want you to go. I don’t want you to leave. But it doesn’t matter anymore._

“I’m not angry,” Dean says, finally looking back and catching the raise of Cas’ eyebrows. “I’m _not_. I’m going to miss you,” he adds, finding the strength to plaster a small smile on his face. “But you really _are_ going to miss your stupid fly if you don’t start moving now.”

“Okay, alright,” Cas says, acknowledging. “Can I at least get a hug?”

Dean tries not to melt, to stay stiff in between Cas’ arms but knowing he won’t get to do this until six months later, it’s proven a little bit more difficult than usual. He breathes the scent of him — sandalwood and honeysuckle shampoo, the discreet scent of his cologne, the laundry softener that the Novak have been using forever.

_Cas, Cas, Cas._

“I’m going to miss you too,” Cas whispers against him, squeezes him one last time before letting go. One minute and he’s gone.

Dean is crying on his way home.

**4.**

Mary had complained. Sam had nodded as he watched him leave, keys in hands. And now there Dean is, standing once again in the arrival hall, tear tracks on his cheek, waiting for Cas to arrive. Because if there’s one thing John Winchester isn’t going to take away from his son even in death, it’s the tradition of him picking up Cas from the airport every time he comes back.

Dean hasn’t slept in 24 hours, but the exhaustion tends to numb the pain anyway, so he rolls with it. He tries not to think back to the last time he was here two months ago, his fight with Cas and him driving back home heartbroken, sobbing like a teenager in the driver’s seat.

He’s here suddenly, and even in the state that Dean is in, the simple sight of seeing his completely disheveled dark hair and the incandescent blue of his eyes staring at him from across the hall is enough to make him forget for a second that he just lost his dad. 

Granted, John Winchester was an asshole. But he was his dad, still. Dean doesn’t know exactly what he’s mourning, the loss of someone he once knew and cherished, or the fact that he now knows he needs to care for his mom and little brother all the same.

Cas crashes into him, wraps his arms around his waist and suddenly Dean’s breath hitches in his throat.

“Dean,” Cas mutters against him, and Dean hugs back so fiercely that he’s pretty certain both of them are going to die from asphyxiation. “I’m so sorry.”

Dean huffs, nosing at Cas’ hair, inhaling the scent of him.

_Cas, Cas, Cas._

“It’s okay. You’re here now.”

_You’re here and I never want to let you go. Please stay. Please, stay._

They’re in the car when they start talking again. Cas had tried talking Dean out of driving, obviously seeing right through the facade that he’s trying to put on. But the truth is he’s no better than Dean, if the bags under his eyes aren’t enough of a clue he’s also heavily jet-lagged.

“I booked a flight as soon as I heard. I wish I could’ve made it sooner.”

“It’s okay Cas, I understand. How are your classes going?”

“Really? Your dad just died and you want to talk about my classes?” Cas asks in disbelief.

Dean sighs. “Yeah, I do. Everyone just talks about dad, all the goddamn time, and I don’t… you know how we were. I don’t have anything nice to say about him anymore, and I’m tired of having to keep it shut not to offend mom.”

Cas’ hand is on his arm suddenly and it takes a lot out of Dean not to flinch at the touch, not to feel guilty about the goosebumps lighting up his skin.

“Okay. My classes are going okay, I suppose. Exams are a few weeks away.”

“Yeah? Arthur helping you study?”

_Play nice._

Cas squirms on his seat suddenly, and Dean looks away from the road to look at him, but the other man keeps his gaze ostensibly on the outside.

“What?” Dean asks, trying really hard to pretend like his heart is not beating at the same rate as a race car right now.

“We broke up. A while ago, actually,” Cas says, voice flat.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t know. It’s not a big deal. Not like we were compatible anyway.”

_Take that, Arthur._

“Okay. And how are you doing about that?”

Cas shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m okay. I missed you though.”

Dean smiles back, warmth settling into his chest. “I missed you too, Cas.”

_I missed you every day, and I wish it wasn’t under these circumstances, but I’m glad you’re here right now._

When Cas has to leave 3 days later, Dean has to break his promise of being the one that handles Castiel’s airport commute for the first time in almost 3 years.

Cas leaves him with a hug and the promise of coming back in two months, and Dean feels a little bit lighter as he watches him get into his taxi.

 _‘I wish you’d stay’_ , he doesn’t say.

**5.**

He arrives barely 24 hours before Bobby and Ellen’s wedding, and as soon as they’re in the car they start talking suits (Dean argues that midnight blue is better than charcoal, but Cas would go with a simple black), wedding cakes (Dean thinks they’re lame because pie is _right there_ ), and first dance (“If your first dance isn’t either Etta James’ “At Last” or “Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Elvis, you’re doing it _wrong_ ”, “okay but what about “It had to be you”?, “Casablanca, Cas? Really?”)

They’re almost at the Novaks when Cas drops a bomb on him.

“Do you want to get married?”

Dean chuckles, tries not to read into things. “Woah, Cas, buddy. Are you proposing?”

Cas laughs next to him. For a moment Dean considers. Getting to wake up next to Cas every day, knowing that he’s _his_ , they can have that.

Cas is looking at him with a smile, and Dean wishes this would never end.

_I want you to be mine._

“I just mean,” Cas rephrases. “If you found, I don’t know, the “right person”? Would you want to get married?”

Dean scoffs. “I don’t know. Yeah, probably.”

“Kids?” Cas adds, cocking an eyebrow at his best friend.

“Oh my God, Cas,” Dean laughs.

“What? I’m just _asking_.”

_I just need you to be mine._

“What about you? Marriage? Kids?” he asks, deflecting instead of answering.

For a moment Cas seems to ponder. Then his gaze his on him, blue eyes as bright as the sky.

“I suppose, if I find the right person for me… Yes, I guess.”

Dean squirms in his seat, suddenly uncomfortable.

“Good.”

_I want to be the right person for you. Would you let me?_

**+1**

Dean’s gonna do it. He’s gonna do it. He is _going to do it_.

He set it all up. He bought the damn plane ticket. He drove them both here early enough so that he finally finds the nerves to do it. So _why the hell isn’t he doing it_?

They’ve gotten coffee, Cas bought a book to keep him company for the flight, and Dean’s still _not doing anything_.

_Goddammit, Winchester. Do you want to keep being miserable?_

They’re making their way to security when he finally grabs Cas by the sleeve of his jacket and stops him on his track. The other man looks at him curiously, one eyebrow raised and his signature head tilt.

“Something wrong?” he asks, visibly concerned.

“N-no,” Dean stutters, trying to regain his composure. “Listen, I —,” he stops again, heart hammering in his chest. “Oh God, this is way more difficult than I thought it would be,” he adds, looking up at the ceiling to try and find his nerves. 

“Dean, you’re worrying me.”

Dean breathes.

_In, out. You’ve got this, Winchester._

“Cas, I don’t want you to go. God, every time you leave I feel like I’m dying inside.”

“But —,” Cas starts but Dean cuts him off. If he let Cas speak, he’s just not going to go through with this.

“Listen, I just… I need to get this off my chest, and if you decide that you don’t… _want_ any of this when I’m done, then so be it. Alright?”

Cas nods, hovering closer, looking at him intensely.

_Okay, here goes nothing._

“Cas, I’m in love with you.”

God, it feels both terrifying and absolutely mindblowing finally being able to state it out loud.

“I look back and I don’t… I’m not even able to pinpoint the moment that I knew for sure, I just _knew_. And every time I watch you leave I keep it shut because I know you’re living your dream, and I know that I’m being unfair by even trying t--”

For one single second, he thinks Cas punched him, or that he’s been sent to Hell on the spot for even daring to keep his best friend from leaving.

And then his mind registers that these are Cas’ hands roaming on his chest, and these are Cas’ lips softly gliding over his, these are Cas’ teeth grabbing his bottom lip, and that is Cas’ tongue finding his, and _Oh my God Cas is kissing the living shit out of me_.

They’re standing in the middle of the airport’s departure hall, and it’s noisy and loud, and the coffee surely is terrible, but Cas is kissing him and clutching him closer and making very sweet moans when Dean cards his hand through his hair and tilts his chin to deepen the kiss, and somehow Dean thinks that maybe this _is_ Heaven.

They’re both panting when they part, and there’s a dopey smile on Cas’ face as he leans back just enough to look at him, but not nearly enough to let go of him.

“Took you long enough,” he says with a grin, his eyes tender.

“The hell are you talking about, man?” Dean laughs, not even able to resist stealing another kiss.

“I mean I’ve been in love with you for years, you absolute asshole.”

“But… Arthur?”

“Well I thought you didn’t want me!”

Dean scoffs. “We’re idiots.”

“Yeah,” Cas agrees, bringing him closer, softly biting a kiss in the cut of his jaw. “So what now? ‘Cause I can’t exactly cancel my flight right now.”

Dean lets go of Cas’ hips reluctantly to fiddle with the inner pocket of his jacket, until he finds it and brings it out.

“I could go with you?” he asks, waving his plane ticket to London.

And the best gift of all is the way Cas’ eyes glint with what are apparently tears as he figures out what the hell his best friend — no, _boyfriend_ — is doing.

“Really? But you hate flying,” he says, his voice hoarse and clearly in disbelief.

“Yeah, well,” Dean shrugs, looping his arm around Cas’ waist again. “Maybe I hate seeing you go more.”

_And I’m not letting you go anymore._

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> **_Rebloggable on[Tumblr](https://chaoticdean.tumblr.com/post/643229288595914753/at-last)_ **


End file.
